THE MEMORIES YOU LEFT BEHIND

I wrote this last year when I was bored and waiting for my parents to come. I hope you like it tho!

P.S. To the person whom I wrote this for.. Thank you for breaking my heart. 

It was worth it anyways :)

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I'd never want to write about sad things.

But as I lay down this bed for two and dramatically, a Sam Smith song started playing, I remember you—and that made me write another list of sad things.

We were a sad thing, you and me. When we are both combined with chemistry, it'll only lead into a couple of tragic events that will keep me up at night.

Life is twisted. My life is twisted.

I thought you were meant to be the puzzle piece that's supposed to make everything fall into place. I thought you were the puzzle piece that might make my life a little less twisted and confusing. Just when I thought everything was right into place, life shook it up into a catastrophic twister.

Ha. How dumb of me to think that you will stay. You will always leave. Why would you stay with me? That's ridiculous. You don't even love me.

But somehow I wish you did. What if you did stay? Will we ever get our happy ending? But I'm tired of what ifs that will never come true. You'd never stay; I don't think that's even one of your options. You were meant to leave me. I was meant to be left. We were meant to be tragic. Just like that.

How could I be so foolish to think that you've fallen in love with me? You'd never. I'm not that kind of girl that most guys fall in love with. I'm not your kind of girl. I'm not her. I don't have that long black hair that always stays into place perfectly for a picture perfect snap. I don't have that smile that makes each and every guy swoon and fall in an instant. I don't have that kind of face that deserves a second look. I'm not her, I'll never be her. That's why you don't love me. You will always love her.

I'm sorry for ruining your life, though. I still remember the time you said it; for me to stop ruining your life. It's ironic, really. How you told me back then that I was your life. Like, our theme song is all about me being your life and you even learned how to play it on your guitar and then a few years after we're over, you tell me to stop ruining your life. It really is ironic to think of.

Life really is ironic. We're ironic.

What happened to us? It's the question I end up asking to myself over and over whenever I foolishly begin to think of you again. But then again, if I ever really did know the answer, will these things change? Will we change?

It's funny how I thought we were meant to be. We were just a random circumstance. In a giant board game, we were the pieces and fate's been right there all along, playing us. He might be rolling over with laughter whenever we lock with each other's eyes or that moment when you were the one I was paired up with in that candle-lighting ceremony at prom. He was just playing the two of us-the both of you were playing me.

You played me like a symphony 'til all your fingers bleed just like the song said. You ruin me. You ruin us.

What if there's this parallel universe?

Come to think of it- another world with a different time, a different place and a different situation.

I'd like to live in one of those worlds.

A world where our love story could get a second chance-the last chance we could ever get, so don't ever waste it, mister.

A world where we could be poured with a life full of effort-you, wanting to give me roses every day and throwing me unique surprises that would be such a hit that it could even have a million views in Youtube.

A world where you won't ever leave-because you can't ever think of a life to live with another girl that's not even close to my cheerfulness.

A world where you won't ever let me go-not in a million years, and not even after a million years.

A world where you could love me, with all your heart and soul, with no regrets and doubts and with no second thoughts about any other girl.

But there's no other world. There's no such thing as a parallel universe-well, it's not proven yet.

Our love story will never get another chance because you already ran out of chances.

You will never give me roses because she's the only girl you have guts to give your full efforts to.

You will never stay with me. There's no way to argue with that because you could never stay with someone you don't love. I'd never want someone to stay with me because I'm sick or dying or whatsoever dumb reason. I'd never want someone to stay with me 'because.' I want a 'no matter what.'

You will always let me go. You keep letting me go. Why would you hold on?

You don't love me. You never did love me. You will never love me. But you will always look at me with regrets of meeting me. You will always look at me and you'll remember her and how you love her so. It was always her-but never me.

This isn't the perfect world.

This is the world where the writer falls in love with her character and that made her think that she could be the princess in the story. But she never was. Her only role was to write. And so, she ended up getting hurt and lifeless as she led her characters for them to pursue a happy ending in the end.

Do they get their happy-ever-after? Yes.

Does she get her happy-ever-after? No.

But she'll smile like she used to and pretend like she's okay. Why? It's the only choice left.

I thought we were about to get a happy-ever-after already. I thought that this was the perfect timing for the real 'US.' I thought I could pretend like the princess and you could be the prince. Or in a much better phase, you could be the king to fix my world and I could be the queen to rule yours.

But our story wasn't like the others. Our story had a lot of twists. We were a twisted love story-minus the love and multiply the twisted part by five.

You're the Romeo. I'm Juliet. You were once in love with a girl named Rosaline so you follow her in the Capulet's party. But she rejects you, not once but three. Then, you suddenly see me standing there with eyes of brown and cheeks of red. Just as when you were about to dance with me, Rosaline comes back to you to give you one more chance. Happily-ever after, the end.

You're Kenji de los Reyes, the notorious gangster that I, Athena Dizon, hates to the moon and back. We meet over some site because you thought that I was your popular and gorgeous ex, Athena Abigail. I pretend to be your ex and you get back at me by getting me to agree with a deal to help you get back Abigail. We succeeded, and then you two got back together. Happily-ever-after, the end.

You're Peeta Mellark. I'm Katniss Everdeen. We both protect each other from danger and act like we're two star-crossed lovers. But it'll all be just an act for us to save our own lives and run away far from one another. You meet someone better than the girl on fire and you both fall in love with each other. Happily-ever-after, the end.

We were a story twist. We won't get our own happily-ever-after. I won't get mine, but you'll get yours.

We were a story twist-but at least it twisted you back into your very own happiness.

A life without me. A life with her. Isn't that a lot better?

Happily-ever-after. The end.

They say people fall in love in mysterious ways.

Why does a person have to fall out of love in mysterious ways, too?

How could that be so easy? You just leave the person and forget about all your memories just because it's for the best. How could that be so easy? Saying all those words and just saying goodbye in an instant and then suddenly, there's another girl.

The chemistry was banished easily. The sparks were cut easily. We were over so quickly. You were happy so rapidly. I was hurt so badly.

We were fireworks. We were meant to be a beautiful display in the sky-but we weren't meant to last. We were meant to end up fast.

I once believed in the idea of serendipity. Serendipity: a magical word for an unfortunate accident. Maybe that's were meant to be-an unfortunate accident. We were a collision and we collided into each other's lives. But that's it. We were just a collision-no more, no less. We go back into our normal lives without going back to each other's arms. We pretend nothing ever happened and act like strangers.

That's how life works. People come and go and we have to make the most out of it.

I knew you were going to leave someday. I just didn't know it would be that soon. But I guess it's for the best. I'm not the best for you. I don't have that kind of worth. On the contrary, she has that kind of worth that you will always see, and that's why you two are meant to be.

It's over. We're over.

But sometimes, I still do think of you and I wonder, what if we really were meant to be? Yes, we're meant to be. We're meant to be a sad story. A tragedy. We were meant to be a sad thing from the past.

The book is closing. Time to say goodbye. Curtain's finally closing. Goodbye. The end.